Keep Your Enemies Closer

Y'all, I have realized something with the whole weight loss thing. 

 I am my own worst enemy.   

The problem with being your own worst enemy is that you don't even realize you are doing it to yourself at times.  I mean if someone else put you down you are fully aware of that, but I put myself down ALL the time and think nothing of it.  Have you heard that quote "You become who you believe yourself to be"?  Well, if in my head I am constantly telling myself I am not good enough, I won't ever reach that goal, etc. that is what I become...my own worst enemy. 

I don't want to be that. 

 I want to be the one who knows I can do it when no one else thinks I can.

And you know what?  I am that person.  I know that I can do this, and will do this.   

I think often times, my problems come from setting goals that are so far away it is hard to see the tunnel, much less the light at the end of it.  I am that person who tells myself if I don't do at least an hour long workout it isn't good enough.  Well, that has done me well...not.  I would just end up getting overwhelmed with my inability for my body to do what my mind thought was worth while and not do anything. Yeah, 40 pounds sounds great, and it will be.  But from my point of view now, so does 5 or 10 pounds and that is what I need to focus on.  So, I plan to make small goals to keep me on track and see my success, little by little.

My goal is pretty simple, to lose 2 pounds a week.  I am going to focus on this journey week by week..NOT 40 pounds from now.  Don't get me wrong, 40 pounds will be great, but it isn't in the here and now.

T and I have pictures coming up in October

 (which I am NOT rescheduling again because I don't like the way I look).

There is 94 days until pictures, which is roughly 13 weeks.  

My big goal for now is to have lost 20 pounds by the time we take pictures. 

You see how I did that?  I gave myself some leverage room, it would be great to lose 26, but having been in this weight loss game for a while I know there are plateaus, birthdays, jobs...there is life in between this whole weight loss game.  I want to be realistic.

This plan does involve me weighing, but if the scale becomes and obstacle rather than a tool, then I won't weigh for a while and I will focus on how my clothes fit. 

For now, here is one of our engagement pictures taken last June.

  I want to look better than I did here. :)