Thursday, August 22, 2013

Letting Go Of Letting Go

I start sentences {in my head"} all the time with "If I were skinny I would..." 
  • buy that shirt, those pants, those shoes
  • take more time on my hair
  • take more time on my make-up
  • take more time on me
See, I tend to get in this funk where I forget that I still need to take care of myself whether I am happy with my weight or not.  I let so many things rest on the brink of losing weight.  It is like I punish myself for having a weight problem by not letting myself get things or enjoy things.
Now, don't get me wrong, if you spoke to my husband he would let you know that I buy things. I am not writing like, oh, woe is me.   I have just realized that I tend to let myself go, so to speak.   For example, I love fashion, but don't necessarily dress "fashionable" (usually I am relaxed with jeans and t-shirt or black pants and dress shirt for work).  I think that I need to lose weight before I invest in the clothes that I like.  Not to mention, sometimes those fashionable pieces don't look good with the extra poundage...on me, anyways.(< There I go again, did you see that?)

My point?  It is stupid to not take pride in YOU or for me to take pride in myself.

I have been around the same weight for 2 years.  Yes, I want to lose more weight, but I have spent two years not spending time on me letting myself go because I was waiting on that last 30 pounds.  
In all honesty, as far as weight loss goes it was probably best that I have maintained a similar set weight for two years, so when I lose the rest hopefully it will be easier to work on maintaining that new number.  BUT, in the moment I didn't see that.  I just saw that I wasn't at that ultimate number.  And you know what?  My ultimate goal weight may not be realistic for I may never get there no matter how 'healthy' I am.  So, will I spend the rest of my life waiting to see a number on the scale to enjoy things?
I have to say, I. Don't. Know.
I would love to say it stops today! 
 I am going to go buy all of Macy's (not really, T would kill me).
But, it is hard for me to spend money on me when I plan to change.  
Wow!  I have changed since the days of high school and thinking nothing of $120 pair of Abercrombie jeans and a $50 tee. 
So, where am I going with this post?  I am not sure, honestly I am rambling about the randomness I think about. But, there is one thing that I do think is important. I think it is important that you love yourself.
I don't think you, or me, or whomever should have to lose weight to be happy.I think weight loss should enhance happiness, not be your happiness.

Now, I need to work on me.


  1. Great post! Since I got married I've put on more weight than I would like, and as a result I'm very much like you in that I see clothes and think "I would buy that if I was a bit slimmer". I've tried to change my way of thinking in the last few months though, and concentrate more on being healthy and toned rather than the number on the scales. You are absolutely right that weight loss shouldn't be the focus towards reaching happiness, I must do more to realise this sometimes!

  2. YES i totally agree!

    even when i was overweight, i still loved myself..i didn't like the way i looked but me? it was all over myself every day :)

    remember that YOU have the power to make a change. for many, their time to change isn't here yet and it's only when you hit that point that it will stick. trust me; it took me 7yrs to fall back in love with fitness and health again..SEVEN YEARS! and it wasn't for my lack of trying; i did try (numerous times) but failed because it wasn't my time and my rock bottom had not hit me yet.

    so your happiness is all within your power. if you're unhappy with something, change it. weight loss is not easy and i think that people forget to maintain perspective when losing weight and you hit it right on the head: weight loss should enhance happiness, not be your happiness.

    i love this post! wise words, Katelyn!

    Vodka and Soda

  3. I love the part about your how your goal weight might not be realistic for you. I see girls my age all the time who weigh 20 pounds less than me and look great but if I weighed that I would look way to thin. Sometimes it's hard to remember everyone is different. 140 on me is different than140 on you, for example.

  4. Love it! I think the same way about myself all the time... and I love your line "I think weight loss should enhance your happiness, not be your happiness", it is SO true!! Even though I'm overweight, I do still try to wear clothes that are cute, but some things I feel are "off limits" to sleeveless shirts or anything kind of tight. It's sad but true.

  5. New to your blog (via Holly Stanfield's blog), but this line that you wrote speaks volumes: "I think weight loss should enhance happiness, not be your happiness." WOW! Love it. Keep on keeping on.

  6. I feel this exact same way! I see so many cute fashionable things that I won't allow myself to buy because I need to lose more weight. I stay in the same boring black pants, too. I totally agree with Ashton above regarding your line about weight loss should not be your happiness. As someone that has been overweight for a while now, the idea of being thin and in a certain jean size directly correlates to me being happy. In reality, my life is pretty wonderful even though I have weight to lose. I love reading other people's outlooks on this topic because it puts in back in check for me.

  7. This was such an encouraging post for me to read. Inreally needed it so thank you! Our image and ideal body/weight can be so daunting, right? I have found that whenever i reach or meet a new goal infer myself something new that fits a little better. Lets me shoe off what I have been working at :)

  8. I just found your blog through Let me tell you - this post was EXACTLY what I needed today! Oh my goodness, you could have taken those words right out of my mouth. I am guilty of continually doing the same thing... "When I weigh X then, I will..." it is such a negative image to portray. Love your blog, you definitely have a new follower!


  9. i'm also "waiting to lose weight" to buy new clothes. i've been doing that for like 2 years now. i need to let go of that silly nonsense!

  10. I do tend to live in my workout wear, just a sweaty mess all day long (I do multiple workouts during the day, a benefit of being a SAHM with a home gym). Often I'm too lazy to change when I do go out too, I'm so busy trying to lose weight to look good in the future that I don't really bother with what I look like on the day to day. I am trying to make more of an effort to change and attempt to look nice each day, especially if I'm leaving the house :)

  11. Your words ring so very true! The absolute, most important thing you can do is love yourself! :)

  12. YES YES YES! You are 100% right. I am ALWAYS making comments about "waiting until I lose the weight".. and I DON'T take care of myself now. Why have I never thought of this?! The reason why I'm not losing the weight (probably) is because I'm not taking care of myself now.. I'm not loving myself now.. I'm not happy with myself now. I need to change my entire attitude. I still deserve love and respect from MYSELF while I'm in this holding pattern. Such a great new outlook! THANK YOU!

  13. Such an honest, truthful post Katelyn. I do the exact same thing to myself. Instead of living in the here and now, we plan for the hypothetical and deny ourselves rewards and pleasure. I'm starting to learn myself that happiness come from acceptance, and not having control over the things we cannot change immediately (i.e. our weight). But we can change how we respond and our self-talk. Very insightful post!

  14. More women should have your point of view. Our culture overvalues how a person looks on the outside. Perhaps all of us need to focus more on what's in the inside. Life goes by so quickly, don't waste time on what ifs, when I loose weight etc. Just be healthy whatever your weight. Found you thru The Meet and Greet Blog Hop. Now following via GFC, hope u can stop by my blog as well.

    Anne Marie

  15. This is a beautiful post! On days where I am not feeling great or I start my day off on the wrong note (snoozing through a workout...eating cake for breakfast...) I always just say "forget it" and let go of any of the goals I have set for myself. It's so important to not get too wrapped up on one small thing and remember that life is bigger than that one piece of cake or those size 2 jeans that you wish you could fit into. I hear ya girl and I hope more do too :)

  16. Such a great, honest, truthful post. Life is a journey and you have to stop and enjoy te middle not just the end. I can so relate though. My closet have 3 different jean sizes based on old jean, fits me now jeans, and goal weight jeans.

  17. I can completely relate to this-I have that same voice inside my head. I find myself picturing this future version of myself that has it all together and it not only puts a lot of pressure on yourself but makes the present less enjoyable. Such a great reminder to focus on the positives!

  18. Amazing the things we can do to ourself, isn't it? I think just as we can punish ourselves we can also turn it around for good. The way we think really does affect so many things!!

    Happy to be visiting today from Super Sunday Sync.

  19. What a wonderful reminder that we are ALL fabulous, regardless of our weight ~ since when did that have anything to do with it anyhow!!

  20. yes... we are all wonderful!!!!
    i really liked the reminder from your post !
    visiting from the blog hop and now following by blog lovin

  21. I joined the Super Sunday Sync. SHADY'S SWEEPSTAKES,GIVEAWAYS, AND FREEBIES followed you
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    We all need to work on "ME" You're not alone.

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